5 top checklist when i sick or when i die - life legacy, milestone
Dec 2019 - have you ever thought of writing what you would like to do and how should your family members know what to do when you are in critical illness, sick, or suddenly facing unforeseen death?
Many malaysians / locals have taboo to discuss and avoid such topic. During the older days, making a will is not everyone want to talk about, not to mention about funeral pre-planning.
But what if you just put taboos aside and give a second thought on how will you plan your wishlist, your lifestory, your living will, your memories in life story?
I have been spending 2-3 days to search online to see the checklist how to think and what to do when something happen to me one day. when i leave the world, when i sick...when i cant make decision in unhealthy state of mind, does my loved ones know what is my decision?
Hereby, I compile some easy-going things-to-prepare just in case there is a mishap or if we are in the aging dying stage. I have simplified at least the 5 most important things to do, a checklist, in any case something happen to you.
1. If I am sick
1.1 Designate a Power of Attorney
1.2 Prepare a Living Will and Designate a Medical Power of Attorney
2. When I die
2.2 Write Your Last Will and Testament
2.3 Outline the Funeral or Memorial Service
3. Your Personal Asset Inventory Booklet - a list for your executor to track your assets.
4. EMOTIONAL THOUGHTS. Share your own message or thoughts for your loved ones, be it a video, voice record, or a lovely letter.
5. A Master File of Everything, keep the file somewhere safe (home, deposit box, or online).
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For a simple guide on how to kick start the 5 checklist. kindly refer to some simple research and guidelines i found online.
1. IF I AM SICK AND I AM NOT IN HEALTHY STATE OF MIND - LIVING WILL
What is Living Will:
- Named a healthcare advocate and a back-up person
- Additional information and notice to your doctor if you are in critical health status.
- Discussed your wishes friends and family (wants and don’t want). not that funky ' things-to-do before i die' like travelling, getting rich, etc. List out the serious thoughts in life.
- Considered where and how I would like to be cared for if I were terminally ill and discussed this with those closest to me.
I manage to find this online stanford medicine Letter Project Tools by stanford medical , to allow you to enter your details on their online letter and later download / print it out, very convenient:
Advance care/ advance directive. If you are unwell and in the critical illness where you are unable to make decision, who is the main decision maker/ the health spokeperson?
You may use this simple online form: http://med.stanford.edu/letter/letters-in-other-languages.html
key in online and keep the softcopy/ print out: http://dear-doc.appspot.com/html/doctor.html
key in using their pdf editor online: http://med.stanford.edu/content/dam/sm/letter/documents/Letter-English.pdf
If you have all these 5 wishes in your mind:
You can refer to this pdf file for a full guide: https://thelastvisit.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/5-Wishes-Advanced-Planning-Guide1.pdf
Advance care/ advance directive. If you are unwell and in the critical illness where you are unable to make decision, who is the main decision maker/ the health spokeperson?
You may use this simple online form: http://med.stanford.edu/letter/letters-in-other-languages.html
key in online and keep the softcopy/ print out: http://dear-doc.appspot.com/html/doctor.html
key in using their pdf editor online: http://med.stanford.edu/content/dam/sm/letter/documents/Letter-English.pdf
If you have all these 5 wishes in your mind:
- The person I want to make care decisions for me if I can't
- The kind of medical treatment that I want or don't want
- How comfortable I want to be when I am dying
- How I want people to treat me
- What I want my loved ones to know
You can refer to this pdf file for a full guide: https://thelastvisit.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/5-Wishes-Advanced-Planning-Guide1.pdf
If you don't know where or how to start with living will/ advanced care spokeperson, try to google and see any agency available in your country.
2. When I die - Will writing and your funeral wishes
Will and Power of Attorney: Durable Power of Attorney for Financial, Digital, and Medical.
https://getyourshittogether.org/checklist/
While many of us prefer to keep the hardcopy somewhere at home or appointed will estate agency such as Rockwill in Malaysia, it will be good to keep all your online letters or word of thoughts, somewhere online.
Will writing in Malaysia, is it necessary? Actually you can DIY your own will, with TWO WITNESS SIGNATURE, and so long you inform your loved ones where you keep the hardcopy/ online. Will may overpower those without will under monetary arrangement when one person died. Provided if the will has TWO WITNESS, not necessary a lawyer.
However, if you have complicated family relationship or if you are rich and famous, you should consider get a proper will agency, such as RockWill:
https://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/leisure/2018/10/15/a-simple-guide-to-diy-will-writing/
http://www.focusmalaysia.my/Income/writing-your-own-will
Free Malaysia online will: http://www.willwritingmalaysia.com/FREE_Will_Forms.pdf
(provided if you know what you are filling up. You may get a lawyer just to look through the legal terms.)
In will, there are few important roles you need to know:
1) EXECUTOR - An executor is the one appointed to carry out the terms and instructions in your will. These included identifying, locating and collecting all of one person's assets, obtaining data on all liabilities, dealing with creditors and banks, dealing with the income tax department on the past tax assessments of the deceased, filing of the estate’s own tax returns and applying for a letter of clearance before he could make any distribution of assets to the person's beneficiaries.
https://getyourshittogether.org/checklist/
While many of us prefer to keep the hardcopy somewhere at home or appointed will estate agency such as Rockwill in Malaysia, it will be good to keep all your online letters or word of thoughts, somewhere online.
Will writing in Malaysia, is it necessary? Actually you can DIY your own will, with TWO WITNESS SIGNATURE, and so long you inform your loved ones where you keep the hardcopy/ online. Will may overpower those without will under monetary arrangement when one person died. Provided if the will has TWO WITNESS, not necessary a lawyer.
However, if you have complicated family relationship or if you are rich and famous, you should consider get a proper will agency, such as RockWill:
https://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/leisure/2018/10/15/a-simple-guide-to-diy-will-writing/
http://www.focusmalaysia.my/Income/writing-your-own-will
Free Malaysia online will: http://www.willwritingmalaysia.com/FREE_Will_Forms.pdf
(provided if you know what you are filling up. You may get a lawyer just to look through the legal terms.)
In will, there are few important roles you need to know:
1) EXECUTOR - An executor is the one appointed to carry out the terms and instructions in your will. These included identifying, locating and collecting all of one person's assets, obtaining data on all liabilities, dealing with creditors and banks, dealing with the income tax department on the past tax assessments of the deceased, filing of the estate’s own tax returns and applying for a letter of clearance before he could make any distribution of assets to the person's beneficiaries.
The executor and beneficiaries can be the same person.
Source: https://www.thestar.com.my/news/community/2013/11/06/important-to-choose-and-appoint-a-suitable-executor#WvQ1fDCIvvSolZpg.99
Source: https://www.thestar.com.my/news/community/2013/11/06/important-to-choose-and-appoint-a-suitable-executor#WvQ1fDCIvvSolZpg.99
2) Beneficiaries are the people or organizations you name in your will to receive your property. In most cases, your spouse can contest the will if you leave them a smaller portion of the estate than what's required by law in your country.
The executor and beneficiaries can be the same person.
3) Will Custody/ Custodian/ Caretaker: Keeping your Will in a safe place, or if you would like to appoint a legal firm to hold on the original duplicate copy of your will. If you have other thoughts not to keep your will at rockwills, you can consider Maybank as your Will Custody/ Custodian/ Caretaker.
3) Will Custody/ Custodian/ Caretaker: Keeping your Will in a safe place, or if you would like to appoint a legal firm to hold on the original duplicate copy of your will. If you have other thoughts not to keep your will at rockwills, you can consider Maybank as your Will Custody/ Custodian/ Caretaker.
4) WITNESS - Get two witness who are not the executor or beneficiaries, of course, you still need to get someone whom you trust.
5) Guardians come in when you have kids below 18 years old.
The current charges of Rockwill could be up to RM2000, but engaging a lawyer will cost you one time off RM400 to help you to do will writing in a more proper way, or make you feel safer, or let a lawyer keep the will as a 2nd copy would be ideal.
For this, you may consider this very honest lawyer firm in KL and Penang.
For more terms/ explanation in will/ trust: https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/common-terms-wills-trusts.html
What if you never write any will at all? (Malaysia) https://asklegal.my/p/die-without-will-property-family-estate-money
What if a person dies leaving no parents, spouse and issue? (Malaysia, non-muslim) https://www.malaysianbar.org.my/non_muslim_inheritance_law.html
5) Guardians come in when you have kids below 18 years old.
The current charges of Rockwill could be up to RM2000, but engaging a lawyer will cost you one time off RM400 to help you to do will writing in a more proper way, or make you feel safer, or let a lawyer keep the will as a 2nd copy would be ideal.
For this, you may consider this very honest lawyer firm in KL and Penang.
For more terms/ explanation in will/ trust: https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/common-terms-wills-trusts.html
What if you never write any will at all? (Malaysia) https://asklegal.my/p/die-without-will-property-family-estate-money
What if a person dies leaving no parents, spouse and issue? (Malaysia, non-muslim) https://www.malaysianbar.org.my/non_muslim_inheritance_law.html
- Discussed or written down the type of funeral or memorial service you desire and any instructions about burial or cremation.
- Do inform your loved ones, if you plan to donate your organs or body for good cause.
3. Organize Your Personal Asset Inventory Booklet - a list for your executor to track your assets.
Rockwill provides an online pdf asset form: https://www.rockwills.info/dlcenter/rockwills_personal_assets_inventory_booklet.pdf
4. EMOTIONAL THOUGHTS. Share your own message or thoughts for your loved ones, be it a video, voice record, or a lovely letter. You can convey your message in a form of video or voice recording (speak and video record yourself, what message you would like to tell your spouse, parents, children, best friends, if you are gone). you can keep somewhere safe online/ icloud box.
You can also learn how to write love/ emotional message to your loved ones.
http://med.stanford.edu/letter/about.html.
A ready letter sample for you to write to your loved ones.
A ready letter sample for you to write to your loved ones.
Video sample:
As I write about this, it makes me to start writing MY MEMORIES IN LIFE - from kid, teenager, become a parent and watching my parents getting old. And so, I did write down the moments I remembered into a letter too!
Well, making me thinking if you cant express that much, perhaps an online diary shall help you.Googled and saw PENZU seems famous.
For online private diary (daily basis)
https://penzu.com/
https://journey.cloud/
Or famous blog platform: tumbler, wordpress, blogspot, but keep/ save the content as PRIVATE.
But I am not someone who want to write a daily dairy, instead as I plan the checklist...I have many childhood memories and milestone, those dark or beautiful moments may be kept online easily.
If you someone like me that need some open questions to start off your own autobiography/ life legacy story, you may refer this list of questions to do some recall back on your memories in your mind.
This is a very good website to trigger you to write down your memories down the lane. https://memlife.com/home
https://legacyproject.org/guides/lifeintquestions.pdf
https://www.lastly.com/blog/major-milestones-in-your-life
JUST FOR FUN. Atlantic has also allow you to enter your birthdays into their website and see what's the most important event happened ever throughout your years: https://www.theatlantic.com/timeline/
And if you want to make one family tree and also some simple autobiography of your own, you can consider to use: https://www.myheritage.com/
Besides making photobook as memories, perhaps a long letter with childhood photos can be kept elsewhere as memories.
5. a Master File of Everything.*KINDLY ENSURE ALL DOCUMENTS are signed, notarized, and a copy has been given to those named or listed, either print out kept somewhere properly. If you plan to go online, inform your families through proper email.
If you plan to go digital. When you have all your documents ready, get all the documents electronic signed. you can consider https://www.docusign.com/. It is free if you upload your doc on their website. Check if your country accepts the digital signature as a legal document. In Malaysia, it is: https://www.docusign.com/how-it-works/legality/global/malaysia
Once your document is ready with an electronic signature, choose to print out or keep them in your icloud, dropbox, google drive, etc.
Make sure all your documents are electronically signed by the appointed person in charge too, if you plan to go fully digital. Those lawyers will trace back the ongoing online documents through their legal terms, for example, IP address, last person who amended it, date and time etc. If you didn't get the witnesses to digital or manual sign, the documents are invalid and weak to be present in the court or from the legal law.
5b. What is there is an emergency? Keep all your documents organized be it hardcopy in a file/ or via online.
Important documents checklist:
Source: https://womenwhomoney.com/emergency-documents-ice-binder/
If you have a bucket list to fulfil: http://med.stanford.edu/letter/bucket-list-toolkit.html
If you plan to go digital. When you have all your documents ready, get all the documents electronic signed. you can consider https://www.docusign.com/. It is free if you upload your doc on their website. Check if your country accepts the digital signature as a legal document. In Malaysia, it is: https://www.docusign.com/how-it-works/legality/global/malaysia
Once your document is ready with an electronic signature, choose to print out or keep them in your icloud, dropbox, google drive, etc.
Make sure all your documents are electronically signed by the appointed person in charge too, if you plan to go fully digital. Those lawyers will trace back the ongoing online documents through their legal terms, for example, IP address, last person who amended it, date and time etc. If you didn't get the witnesses to digital or manual sign, the documents are invalid and weak to be present in the court or from the legal law.
5b. What is there is an emergency? Keep all your documents organized be it hardcopy in a file/ or via online.
Important documents checklist:
- Household information
- Key personal documents
- Medical information (including advanced directives)
- Childcare (daycare, routines, school, extracurricular activities)
- Insurance policies
- Basic financial information (properties, bills, cash accounts, credit cards, debt)
- Employer information
- Social media/website logins
- Investment information (accounts, strategy, what to do with life insurance, real estate, etc.)
- Military Veteran benefit and obituary information
- Burial/Memorial Preferences
- Personal notes to family/friends
Source: https://womenwhomoney.com/emergency-documents-ice-binder/
If you have a bucket list to fulfil: http://med.stanford.edu/letter/bucket-list-toolkit.html
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Anything else I miss out? Kindly share in the comment box and if it is important, I will add them at here, cheers!
If you want more than what you read from my blog, to complete a A-Z checklist for your beforelife and afterlife decision-making statement, kindly refer here: https://www.everplans.com/
If you are clueless and you are lost after reading my blog, perhaps you can consult a will writing agency or a lawyer friend to assist you with such matter.
How to face your loved ones who are dying: https://www.webmd.com/palliative-care/journeys-end-active-dying#1
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