fate?never ending pain of everything?

I was waiting but there it goes, empty promises...and it gone by the wind. Is it fate? Or it was meant to be?

Was it really my wrong, or it is someone who do not want to listen to my explanation?

I was sick lying on my bed, no one to turn to, feel so helpless, but my mind tells me to bulk up and wait for you, I had waited for two days continuously, I did not expect much in return, but there was no news from you.

Was this a punishment? This is so painful, but who would listen to my cries? Ever since that days, I cannot sleep well, I just cannot, it was a burden in my heart. How long will this be going on?

When I almost give up everything, when I keep on cheating myself not to fall for it, but in the end, something came up and make everything change again. But why would this be happening?

Can you tell me? Why would I fall for it? Even me myself, I was so confused, I am so sad and heartache, why it can so mean and cruel?

I am being stupid myself maybe, or I am cheating myself all the while. But whenever you need me, I will be with you; just that when I need you, you weren’t here, and it hurts..really hurts…